My schedule of errands to be completed from 11:00 -3:30.
1. Grocery shopping etc. at Wal-Mart. Yes Wal-Mart (don't judge me!).
2. Return groceries to my house.
3. Drop Holly off at school at 12:30.
4. Drive to Salt Lake. Go to Baker's Cash and Carry and buy chocolate and carmel for when my awesome sister-in-law, Jamie, comes and directs us in her time honored tradition of dipping chocolates.
5. Drive to Greg's work. Pick up the gift card to the mall that is in his wallet for some unknown reason.
6. Drive to the mall that is near Greg's work. Make a return and spend the gift card.
7. Drive back here to pick up the kids from school.
That was my plan. If you're still reading this (I got bored by "Drop Holly off at school,") then I assume you are possibly interested in what really happened.
What really happened:
1. Grocery shopping etc. at Wal-Mart.
2. Answer cell phone while loading the groceries into the car.
3. Hear through Kate's sobs that she accidentally threw her retainers in the garbage at lunch.
4. Drive to the school. Walk Holly to class. Go find Kate and comfort her. Kate, two of her friends, and one of the custodians had looked through two or three bags of garbage. Kate said they found her garbage from her lunch, but didn't find the retainers.
5. Look for the retainers. James, the head custodian, and I spent the next 90 minutes going through every bag of garbage in the school and the school's dumpster. The garbage gets picked up every day. So just from today, by the time lunch was over, the school had generated probably 30 bags of garbage. Yes, I wore gloves and yes, I gagged about twelve thousand times, and no, I would not like to eat tropical chicken and rice ever, ever again. One more thing, your kid is not drinking his milk at lunch. Sure, he sets it on his tray, but he only drinks about a third. And for the mom that sent the foil pack of spicy tuna for her kid's lunch...seriously? Of course your kid just threw the whole thing away unopened. I mean really, a foil pack of tuna fish? Are you purposely trying to embarrass your child?6. The retainers were not found. I don't know how we didn't find them. I thought for sure we would. We found Kate's garbage (lemonade Capri-Sun and a baggie with wheat crusts of a peanut butter sandwich) but not her retainers.
7. After I spent my afternoon rummaging through the garbage, there was no time for chocolate buying. I did a couple of quick local errands and my time was up. School was out and I smelled like a cafeteria.
Turns out, my orthodontist only charges the lab fee for replacement retainers. Hmm, $80 vs. 90 minutes of unsuccessful scrounging. Kinda sounds like a bargain.
14 comments:
Oh biffy, that is stinky! (No pun intended) Just watch, it's probably in her coat pocket or something. Hopefully your day today goes better.
Nice post. The last half totally had me smiling. Thanks.
Thanks for the laugh! You started my day with a chuckle! I have so much to do today, now if anything doesn't go as planned, I'll just remember your day, and I believe I'll be able to handle anything that comes my way!!! I'M STILL LAUGHING!! Oh and yes!, Kailey lost her retainer at lunch in Jr. High. She didn't even bother telling me, until the next day. I don't think she would want me at her school going through the garbage, which I would of probably done.
Oh, I remember my many rummages through the cafeteria garbages looking for my retainer. Good times, good times. Seriously, I really did so I know just how you feel (all accept the part about the dumpster... I only looked in the garbage can) What a dedicated mommy you are!!
Oh Biffy... what a story! Thanks for the chuckle... I remember digging for a lost retainer at McDonalds once and this brought back all sorts of icky memories!
Hope you are doing well. We have 4 or 5 inches of snow on the ground here and the kids are out of school for the 3rd day in a row... so now they don't go back until the new year.
Did you get my outtake card?
Biffy, you need to be a writer for the Ogden Standard or some Mom's magazine. I laughed, I cried and I couldn't believe the amount of garbage you were willing to go through. You just make the world brighter :-).
I am so sorry about your day! Did you actually get inside the dumpster? You will look back one day and laugh about it! The retainer throwing away thing probaly happens a lot!
My Hayden has gone dumpster diving 3 times now...luckily he found his retainer each time. But this is the second retainer he's had, the first was lost during football...
You are a good mom to look through the garbage for her. Good job!
You should have called me. I would have come and helped you look. Not like I like digging through garbage but if you got to do it, you might as well have a friend with you.
what an awesome day! that is so a mother's day! haha
That is so yucky! You are a good mom to do that!
Oh Biffy!!
So not fun....what we don't do for our kids-huh!!
You have such a great outlook...sorry you have to pay for a new retainer!
Amber
Um, yea, there is no price to great to avoid that. I bought Grace a digital camera for Christmas for $20. Yes, that was my first mistake. It stopped working today (uh, duh!). I went to the garbage to find the packaging so I could return it and buy the more reliable $60 one. Derick's diarrhea diaper sitting right on top of everything. I made it a sum total of 35 seconds.
Not worth $20.
Okay, to funny, not for you, but my memories. At about the same age, I remember looking through the big dumpster with my parents looking once for my lost retainer. We did find it! I remember being very embarrassed, and I never left it at lunch again.
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